MY BELLE O! MY HEAD O!!!

I'm not sickly! i do not appear so....but i certainly do feel so. For the past couple months, yours truly has been ill, under the weather, sick...or whatever phrase best applies. I do not intend to rinse our Nigerian Medical Facilities but may i add that i remain unimpressed until something miraculous happens to this health of mine and this must stream from a medical diagnosis and solution.

When i'm not shaking like a leaf every night, i'm sneezing like a rascal, coughing like i don't know what. I've done practically all the tests there is to do. what now? Are my "village people after me"? as we Nigerians will so like to believe..

First, it's a cold...next I've got malaria...next yours truly has pneumonia, next asthma, then again look you've got a respiratory tract infection and so on. I've been pumped with so many drugs i feel like a walking medical encyclopedia. At this point i do not blame those who travel overseas whenever they get as much as a headache. Call it paranoia if you will but no one wants to die as much as we form being tough and Nigerian...

Something needs to be done about this health of mine and i'm not gonna take this sitting!!! ***whatever that means.

The Great Fall At Cubana

Three weeks prior to this photo, I sprained my ankle and bruised my knees! This is how it happened!
I got invited to a friend's (Alexx) friend's birthday party at Club vanity earlier in the day. later that evening, another friend invited me for a pre-birthday party at the same club. as much as i didn't wanna step out that evening, i wanted to see Alexx (the first friend) as it had been centuries since we last saw.

Mistake was i told my friend L7 about the invitation and did she threaten to kill me if i didn't go out so she could live the experience vicariously through me and so i could send her photos. Tsk! i should never have listened to her! That was how i got into all this trouble! I got all dressed to attend and had my sister attend as well as we all had the same friends. She's a party hopper if i must add. It started off with photos from home and a lot more at the club...

Alexx and I

That's how little the dress i wore was. 

 I had a glass of champagne, as i'm quite light headed, and in a bid not to "embarrass myself" I decided to continuously sip on one glass as long as it would possibly take! more friends came and turns out Alexx's friend was Uti Nwachuku. I wasn't gonna miss this. Friend 2's party was over for me so all i was doing was waiting to see Alexx! Good thing he was a close buddy so i waited around to see him, say hey, steal a peek at the Jara host and dash!...it took forever for them to get to Vanity but they eventually did as i wasn't leaving without accomplishing this mission!

Martha saw him first and went "yo look! it's Alexx" and we went to say hey!  he was quite happy to see us and went on to introduce us to Uti and we took a couple photos!

Uti and Uty ;)

Deed done! mission accomplished! it was time for this big breasted pouty lipped girl to go home as it was almost 1am and i had to be at work by 8am. Hugged friends, hugged sister, carried my purse and started out! passed bouncers and a couple boys who sit outside the club just looking to catch their trips whichever way! i was particularly careful not to miss a step or walk funny or act like the heels weren't comfy because as a matter of fact they were and this was my first appearance with them and i was going to rock them as i pleased thank you!!! Talking to my friend Phat man Scoopy and next thing i know, right outside the gate of Cubana, right by the bouncers, yours truly found herself butt flat on the gravel paved ground! 

WTH!!!

i think i closed my eyes for a second and said a little prayer "be dreaming, be dreaming''! i was butt flat! My Black panties were ahoy, i couldn't get up! Tears were gathering... i had sprained my ankle and my knees were bruised! It wasn't a dream! Far from it. This was scandalous... Phat man Scoopy gave me a hand! What to do with it! I couldn't get up for all the tea in China! The bouncers had to lift me! I'm sure i must have buried my face somehow. I also bet the boys laughed and i bet they thought i was drunk. That was the "painfullest" part. Oh the horror when i was told later that i used all the swear words when i fell. What's a girl to do! I haven't been to Cubana since and i'm in no hurry! I have to overcome my fears first, this time on flat cute shoes and i hope not to see the same set of muppets lurking outside!

I also hope no one took photos in those brief seconds and i don't bump into myself on twitter or Bbm as the girl that wore fell cos she wore killer heels and got drunk. Who send me :(

THE END

We Are Only Human After All

So I hear today that the U.S. Ambassador to Libya, Christopher Stevens, was killed when suspected Libyan religious extremists stormed the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi late Tuesday night, according to Libyan Deputy Prime Minister Mustafa Abushagour and am I disturbed! So very much so!

One man managed to bring down the Stars and Stripes flag and replace it with a black flag with the Islamic inscription "There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is His Prophet".

Do people have the right to defend God? If you do in fact serve a God and believe he is almighty and all knowing, do you have to defend him, act for him, and think for him? That's a totally absurd notion...thinking to defend God! Their God! It's OK to do your thing, play God and practice your religion whichever one you choose but that doesn't mean others can't. If the Muslims can’t stand any other idea or way of life, does that mean others have to tiptoe around them? It gets boring after a while. 

People disagree, offend and annoy...that' all human behavior but why kill because of it? Some tear paper, cut off other peoples heads because they messed with a paper the Koran was resting on!

Why???

To prove a point I guess... This should be allowed amongst their kindred or brotherhood or whatever it's called but these laws and anger should be excluded from those who do not believe in their practices or share their views because it's a tad unreasonable.

They should learn to live with reason and not just emotions...no civilization can function that way because we'd all be headless after a while. Religion must be tempered with reason. God made us complex with amazing abilities. If a man has blasphemed God, it is between him and God. If we stand in the middle, we may receive the punishment meant for that man.

All we do is worry about how the Muslims feel...are we not going to live? All in a bid not to step on each others toes. We may as well all go buy swords! A head for a head and an arm for an arm...

There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet>>> No one cares if Yusuf is the spiritual head or Mariah the prophet. Why must we all suffer for it? And then some idiots will open their dirty stinking zobo drinking, tobacco chewing mouth and say "Islam is a beautiful Religion". Why not make it beautiful for us all?

Monsters not Monsterous

In the advent of colonialism came norms, beliefs, religion, values and all. These things were to act as a medium where with we measured morality and not necessarily law. How far has that gone in the Nigeria wherewith the British colonized? How is that operating in the Nigeria of Today?

A couple weeks ago I heard about a lady whose lover leaked photos and videos of her which were most definitely made in trust. Being that we are Africans and Nigerians at that how is this matter resolved? How does it all go down in the eyes of the society we live in?

The woman tends to lose her virtue, her job, dignity, values and her family as a whole...maybe her sanity even. I sat back to think about this as it does happen ever so often and becomes so scandalous when it gets out. It becomes a cancer which eats really deep...it eats up virtually everything around and within without as much as a scolding for the male gender. I went on to talk to some friends about their take on the whole situation...this supposed "scandal" which affects only the women in our society...the ones that stand out as whores with the men invisible and considered "victors" and "players". What are we to do? Are we allowed to love? Of course we are! We owe it to ourselves. If we are allowed to love, it turns out or follows immediately that we are allowed to trust. If we are allowed to love and trust which amounts to the same thing, is this lopsided?

Many people can see themselves in a situation such as this or many near it, where the lover's camera becomes his eyes...where attention and want become so intoxicating...where caution is thrown to the wind and love (trust) takes control totally! Love and trust i bet are getting a tad too dangerous and life threatening it turns out!

Happenings such as these turn people into monsters; make people less trusting but more vigilant, helps make others more conceited and bitter. Our Nigerian men (as this is the case study) do not make our women better. No one is born bitter, or conceited, or monstrous. Situations and the society as a whole play a huge part in our existence...we do not blame society for everything but who is society? It is the family...you and I...that gate man, that house help, that child in school and most especially that toddler in the play pen. Society makes us and breaks us. Our society leads us to believe the notion that 'all men are the same"...

In reality though, ARE THEY? I’d love to find out sometime...preferably this lifetime!

Epidemic of the Florescent Green Shoes!

So i did this photo session for three reasons. 1. Being that i love myself too much (second time i'm stating this on the blog so take this seriously), I was going to be photographed and that was a great incentive. 2. I wanted to see how a lot of makeup would look on me 3. Give "Cookie"(the makeup artist) and Lotanna (the Jeweler)  ... a chance to work with me ;).

It was a Sunday, i had to go with no make up on and all. I went expecting a lot! The first thing that caught my attention was that there were a lot of girls there. Tall, short, round, black,black and white, skinny, etc. I was devastated because being vain and all, I like all the attention on me but THEN MY SPLIT, call her "Chisom" said "Good thing, you're the fairest of them all so look on the bright side...''

Did i turn light green when they said we had to get out of what we wore there. Did these people know i went through a lot figuring out what to wear in the first place? As if that was not evil enough, they went on and made Pipi *not real name* princess and i went Ok so what does that leave me? Rumpelstiltskin?

I got 3 outfits. Two of which were snatched away along with the jewelry i was to model. Kai. I almost cried! That meant not a many photos for me as i would like. I was left with a ridiculous looking leopard patterned skirt with a pink top that was see-through and showed too much boobs. and did i mention i'm not a fan of patterned clothes. I wore the clothes miserably and everyone kept going on and on about how nice i looked. I was so upset. I made a solemn promise to myself that i was NOT going to smile in any of the photos.

On getting to the designated venue for the shoot, I could feel eyes all over me. I could bet a thousand nairas i looked like a scarecrow. Plus i had on green shoes. Just imagine that!!!!!! Pink, leopard and green! Not regular green shoes....Fluorescent green!  These people made me look like i was up and ready for Rag day!

The best part of the whole day was the fact that i knew the Photographer Blaze! All i did was drink 'Pally Soda' and Tada! i had a "not too bad Photo" in the midst of the ones with the Green shoes :(.

Not so bad after all...one good photo is better than none!

Pouty Lipped Nerdy Me

For some reason i tend to forget my passwords. I had a new blog done last year because my friends thought it was a good atmosphere to display my designs and as such make it known to whoever cared! oh yes, i am a designer of some sort..! Despite my very peculiar "weird designs", I've done a couple outfits for friends and myself, done bridal dresses for two weddings and i'm hoping the flare for designing stays alive although there seems to be some sort of "unforeseeable" competition in that area.

This should have been an attempt at blogging anonymously but considering i like myself too much, it sure may not work and plus I've got bare photos of me all around the place. Since recovering my password proved impossible...i thought.. why not just start a new blog, post photos of you as you are vain like that and talk generally about stuff you wanna. Mostly for  my own sanity and partly for the sanity of anyone who get around to reading this.
If at some point i ever have amnesia(which i'm quite terrified of) remember!

1. You like music

2. You like boys

3. You do not eat fish

4. You love to sleep

5. Never forget how much you love designing!

6. You may die if you attempt not to get photographed daily.

With that being said, i'm pretty sure i can go on and share my day to day activities. OK let's not over exaggerate it, i shall write when i remember to and i shall be as honest and vivid as i humanly can.